Well, I did it! I got my guts back, hung out with my Crush and then eventually confessed how I felt about him. It turns out he's not on the same page. The one-on-one time, jokes and intimate convo apparently means that he's NOT interested. This leaves one feeling a little confused and dis-heartened, but I will chop it up to his response of "I'm not really ready to get into something right now, but I think you're all kinds of awesome." Ummm...thank you, I guess?
I feel like the last year has left me playing with flower petals. I've been in some situations where all signs point to he likes me, but some actions, or lack there of, have pointed to he likes me not. Generally, these are the guys that you go on a few dates with and you just aren't feeling it. My Crush wasn't ready for anything new. Alright, I can accept that. But what about the other guys that I thought would have been something more in my life.
Let's take a look at Big Bear. He and I have had a flirtatious friendship for many years. We had discussed in the past about hanging out and have shared that we would like to get to know one another better. Nothing had ever gone further than that. So, the day that Big Bear and I do share an amazing kiss, it was a long time coming. With that came the new knowledge that he and his on again/off again girlfriend were apparently on. Let's go back to being confused for a minute. With time on our side in the past, why does one wait to act when the timing isn't right?
On to The Comedian. Again, he and I have had a flirtatious friendship for nearly a decade. We would see each other everyday, had mutual friends and clearly were interested in having more with one another. We were always in the predicament of being in relationships when the other was not. He was the one that broke that cycle and told me how he felt about the idea of us together. At the time, I had been in a relationship with someone very dear to me, Jack. Time passed, The Comedian and I saw each other less, but the feelings were still there and still mutual. Years later, I was the one that said that we need to do this; let's spend some time together and catch up. Now, with both of us single and still entertaining the idea of a reunion, The Comedian is the one that isn't following through on the idea. He's been honest to say that he's nervous about something either happening or not happening between us. I admit, both options are a little frightening, but we won't know unless we try. Here's my confusion again; is it better to have loved than not to have loved at all?
So, here I am, on the dating scene and confused more than ever. I'll have to take my own advice; be open, put myself out there and strike when the opportunity is right. I may also have to buy a daisy every week to find out if the new guy likes me, or likes me not. At least my odds are pretty good.
Till next time
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